Where Are the Apples?

This post was written by my friend Fallon, who is also from the States.

The first time I went grocery shopping in Colombia I thought, “That’s weird… Where are the apples?”  I corrected myself as I processed this thought.  The absence of apples in the local market was not weird, just different than the life I was accustomed to living in the United States.  Over time, it became easier to adjust to cultural differences between Colombia and the U.S.  Perhaps I could not find apples, but I learned to love pittaya, maracuya, and mamones. 

Although my adjustment to eating Colombian fruits seems small, it represents an honest effort to understand and accept a culture different than my own.  In the past year, I have confronted and overcome biases I held about Colombians and gained knowledge about what it means to be Latino. 

Check, Please! Understanding Latin American Meals and Time

I sat chatting with my friend in a local restaurant after we finished our lunch. My food was gone, my water was gone, and my eyes darted around the room in search of the waiter so he could bring us the check. We waited for over 20 minutes, until I finally waved him down and asked for it. I paid the bill, annoyed, and left in a hurry. I decided that he was rude. In the United States, we are accustomed to eating a meal in a restaurant in under an hour. In Colombia, going out for lunch may take two and a half. The next time this occurred, my friend smiled and said, “Are you in a hurry?” I replied that I wasn’t, but that the waiter should bring the check once we are finished. She explained that in Colombia, wait staff assume you want to relax and enjoy conversation following a meal. This practice, a custom in many Latin countries, is known as sobremesa. In Colombia, it would be considered rude for the waiter to bring you the check, urging you to leave. Therefore, you must ask for the bill when you are ready. The emphasis is not on eating a meal, but on the opportunity you have to spend quality time with a friend or loved one. My assumption that I would receive a bill immediately following my meal affected my opinion of Colombians in a negative way. I also failed to recognize that the time I spent with my friend, deepening our relationship, was more important than paying the bill.

Another practice I noticed when I moved to Colombia was that everyone arrived late for every event, no matter what it was. I once attended a wedding where even the bride-to-be showed up an hour after the wedding was scheduled to begin. I found this custom irritating at first because in the United States we place an emphasis on arriving early. Lateness is frowned upon in most cases. Rather than be annoyed, I have embraced the fact that lateness is simply a part of the culture and not meant to be discourteous.